Saturday, December 2, 2023

Feel My Leg Muscles... I'm a Racer- the first S&M Bikes video- 1991


When "Leg Muscles" came out, in late 1991.  Riders who ordered it opened the package, and shoved the video in their VCR, looking for footage of the craziest BMX jumpers in the world.  And the video started with bad acting from John Holmes porn videos, the intro, and then this... Perry Mervar, on an S&M (Dirtbike, I think), tearing it up on flatland for 5 1/2 minutes.  This whole video was a low budget practical joke, Chris Moeller style, and having flatland first was Moeller's idea.  Pretty funny.  And Perry was one of the best flatlanders around at the time.  

So... I was living in a sketchy apartment in North Hollywood in 1991, working 2nd shift dubbing videos at a video duplication company.  Chris Moeller, who was running S&M Bikes out of a garage, called me up.  "Steve, I want to make a video for S&M.  Here's the idea, we take a John Holmes porn movie.  We show the bad acting, and then when they cut to sex, we cut to bike riding."  That's how this video began.  

I shot the footage with my full size, S-VHS camera, on the weekends.  Chris bought an S-VHS prosumer deck, a high quality VCR, which cost about $2,000.  I wired my camera to that, and edited on the floor of his tiny living room, Play-Record-Pause style, camera to VCR.  I was drinking a 40 of Old English as I edited, and hit peak drunkeness around John Paul's part.  I finished the rest the next day.  Other than than the S-VHS VCR, total production costs for this video were about $250, including beer.  The whole rider-made video movement was just beginning, and Feel My Leg Muscles... I'm a Racer, was one of the first of those videos.  The title came from a pick-up line Dave Clymer used to pick up his girlfriend in a bar.  

I just learned yesterday that Snakebite BMX put up most of the clips a month ago.  The fast-forward porn parts, and a John Holmes fight scene, have been lost to history.  But here are the segments.  Enjoy.  



"Pistol" Pete Loncarevich (riding an S&M Holmes with GT stickers on it)



Mission Trails 2-Hip King of Dirt- 1991 (Outside San Diego- Home of Death Jump)




I lied...  Actually, I didn't know.  BMX Movie Database now has the full version of Leg Muscles, with the bad porn acting and everything, it's an hour long.  Feel My Leg Muscles... I'm a Racer.

"...I'm just a spoke in the wheel, Johnny."
"And who's the hub?  Chief Harris?"

Sponsored by S&M Bikes, Super Glue 4, chain wallets, and sideburns.

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